Sex & Relationships Column
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Women: Own Your Sexuality

By Gabriel Tebow, Arts & Community Writer

Women everywhere can often-times feel disassociated from their sexuality and their vaginas. They may view sex as something more important for men and, thus, not get pleasure from it. Sex can even be painful for some women. It’s not because they are bad at sex, rather, it’s that they don’t know their own vaginas and, if this is the case, then how can their partners know what to do to pleasure them?
Women can and should take control of their sex lives. The vagina is seen as taboo in media and society. We could even say that many women are almost ashamed of their vaginas, but they are amazing organs that, according to Sex and Relationship Coach Kim Anami, give women energy in life. Anami is a strong proponent of women’s empowerment through vaginal strengthening. She says on her internet site, “You can’t tune into your sexual energy and sexual pleasure if you can’t even feel your vagina.”
In order to use the ‘sexual energy’ Anami is talking about, women are encouraged to masturbate and strengthen their vaginal muscles. Some women may feel uncomfortable with this concept, but masturbation is healthy and can improve how women see themselves. Masturbation can also improve people’s sex lives. If a woman knows what gives her an orgasm, she can tell her partner how to better pleasure her.
It is possible for women to have better sex and more intense orgasms through vaginal strengthening. The vagina is surrounded by muscle, making it stronger than many people think. Like any other muscle, the vagina can be exercised.
In 1947, Dr. Alfred Kegel created an exercise to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor and vagina. The Kegel exercise works by clenching the muscles associated with the pelvic floor and the vagina. According to Anami, this old method is ineffective and she claims that she has “yet to meet a single woman—amongst thousands—who has had success with Kegels.” Anami suggests an ancient Taoist method of lifting with the vaginal muscles. It’s a type of vaginal weight lifting. According to Guinness World Records, one woman,Tatyana Kozhevnikova, can lift 31 pounds with her vagina. The method uses a smooth jade egg or similar object that a woman then grips with her pelvic floor muscles. Anami says the egg provides “resistance and feedback to the pelvic floor muscles,” strengthening the muscles surrounding the vagina.  Anami also provides online classes and workshops. Information about the exercises, workshops and classes can be found at
Bottom line?  Get to know your body and appreciate it.  You don’t necessarily have to do ‘vaginal weight lifting’, but you should be aware of your own sexuality, what feels good to you and not be embarrassed by it.
Another way women in Hilo can find inner strength is by going to see this year’s Vagina Monologues. The 2015 Vagina Monologues is presented by the Women’s Center at the University of Hawaii at Hilo, University Radio Hilo, and UH Hilo Student Association. The show is produced by Juanita Peres-Revell and co-directed by Laura Acevedo and Leinala Gamulo. There will be two showings on Saturday Feb. 28, 2015 at the Palace Theater located at 38 Haili Street in Downtown Hilo. The first showing is at 3 p.m. and the second is at 7 p.m. Tickets can be purchased online starting Feb. 1, 2015 via the UH Hilo Women’s Center website and Facebook page for $10 in advance or for $15 at the door. Portions of the proceeds go to Hale Ohana Domestic Violence Shelter & UH Hilo’s Women’s Center.
 If you have questions that you want answered in the next issue, email S.R. Insegnante at


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